A Mindful Monday

                                                    

I went through a period in the past few years where I stopped feeling. I became calloused and numb; I found myself in situations where I wanted to cry, or I wanted laugh but I couldn't muster up enough emotion to actually express the appropriate response. It was awful. I think the root of the problem was bitterness. At some point it just took hold of my heart. It started with anger about something in my life, something that was constantly hurting me. I was sick of feeling demolished daily, so one day I decided to not feel it anymore. I am not sure what day that was and I am not sure of the day that I started to feel again. I do know, however, that Spirit of God is the one who came to my rescue. He convicted my heart of how emotionally unhealthy I was getting...and how that was spilling into and infecting my spiritual health. I agreed to let him break the shell of my hardened heart, to let him chisel at the corrosion. It was a very obvious instance that confirmed that God had been at work. I was watching T.V. and a commercial for Edible Creations came on. It was the one where a little girl gets off a bus (either from school or camp probably) and her grandfather was waiting for her with a fruit arrangement. Her face lit up, she ran full speed with arms outstretched towards him, and glided right into his arms. I BLUBBERED. Not like aw, sweet human relationship, sniffle, I mean, sobbing and heart aches. Now, I know that is not normal, so please don't think that's how I always react to heartfelt commercials these days but it was a definite sign to me that God had healed my heart. In fact, the reason I knew God wanted me to feel again was because of this prayer that so many of us Christians sing:

"Heal my heart and make it clean,
and Open up my eyes to the things unseen,
and show me how to love like you, have loved me...
BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS
Every thing I am is for your Kingdom's cause..."

Apart of being Christ like is having a HUGE heart that feels, and identifies with others, and breaks, and rejoices...

Feeling hurt is no fun, but I have been taught by the Spirit the correct way to feel hurt. Instead of laying in a heap of pity and destruction you bring it to feet of the King and let him take care of your heart. I am not saying that I am perfect at remembering to do this, I find myself throwing a pity party once in awhile but feeling the pain is worth the glory God gets from comforting his child, and it's also worth feeling happiness and even heartbreak for the things that we should be concerned with as the hands and feet of God, which brings me to point of this post (which has taken me much rambling to get here)

God has broken my heart for this...

Precious? YES!
I know that I am nowhere near being able to adopt a child but I have heart for it and one day when God tells me I am ready I can't wait to say, "Yes, Lord!"
I want to be sensitive to God's direction in choosing where to adopt and who to adopt because I know he has handpicked a sweetheart for me to love but my heart tends to favor adoption from China because my eyes have seen that part of the world. I know that the culture favors boys so the orphanages are dominated by China dolls, I know that abortion is OUT OF CONTROL, and I know that the children can only stay there for so long before they have to go out in a cold world to fend for themselves as outcasts. I know that many of those girls will resort to prostitution and never know the value Christ places on their dear little souls.

I recommend watching Home Beyond The Sun

It's based on a true story about a Chinese adoption. You can find a copy at Lifeway. I know that with these faith-based movies, viewers usually consider the acting cheesy, but the quality of the message always surpasses my complaints of the quality of the acting.

I also recommend that you visit my Pastor's wife's blog to see the result of a real China adoption. This family knows how to love! What a blessed China doll they have!

Be mindful this Monday and everyday of those in need of love, from the orphan to the elderly, from the homeless to the rich. We all need love, we all need Christ.

Blogging My Battles and Blessings,
Amber Marie