The Truth Hurts

Sometimes, I'm too angry to write; Sometimes, I'm too angry to not write.

WARNING...WARNING...WARNING!

I'm going to break my own rule and be a tad bit cynical and ranty on this post. No one has to keep reading.

Anyone been through a really ugly break-up? No one told me about the phases. Well, maybe not everyone has phases. I most definitely do, however. I didn't know I was going to go through phases, but, OH, I'm going through some phases.

Phase one: Cry because you know you're supposed to.

Phase two: Hold it together day in and day out, because you're surprisingly stronger than you expected. Refuse all pity and sympathy, because no one is lying here: you're really okay. In fact, you're so okay that you explain to people how you're only upset because of the way he broke up with you, not because he did. You acknowledge the unhealthy relationship it was and even defend him, because you think he loved you and is "setting you free" so that you can find someone you "deserve".

Phase three: Find out about the truth. {And this is where I have to censor what I share. If I told you the truth that I know...dear, Lord}Well, maybe some of you know this stage...It's where you get information overload about things that you were oblivious to for quite some time, and then you connect all kinds of dots that were right in front of your face the entire time, and then you get sick to your stomach because you realize that cliche is completely true: Love. Is. Blind.}

Phase four: Anger. I told God in the beginning that I wasn't going to be angry. He told me I should be. You think I'm kidding? I promise that sometimes it takes God letting things get so ugly, and lets you get so angry that you know, you know, you know, you know you will never be so naive again.

Phase five: I will let you know what happens when I'm done being mad.

And I will stop being mad. Because I would hate to live the rest of my life with the shakes that I have now...And bitterness and I are terrible, terrible friends and I know it won't work out between us, so rest assured, I will stop being mad.

It's true. Very true: The truth hurts. But guess what, the pain protects.