Still figuring this out!

     Hello to the kind people that actually took a minute to visit! First of all, I have no idea what I am doing with the blog. It was a random thought the other day to start one. I am an English major, so I thought it might be a good way to exercise in the area of journal. If anyone actually starts to read my blog, I might try a little harder to make it into something nice.
     Well, I guess this is a good place, the beginning, that is, to say, "My name is Amber Marie, and I am somewhat of a perfectionist." I met with a mentor of mine yesterday and somewhere in the midst of complaining about all that was wrong in life at the moment my thoughts centralized into somewhat of a conclusion- things would be better if I could be satisfied. Man, I sound like a brat but I realized that not being happy with details is rooted in my personality-the very meticulous region of it. Many people, I think, would tell themselves to accept who they are, even embrace it. It's not bad advice but when something about yourself, and I dont mean a phase or mood, I mean your hard drive, is interferring with your happiness, isn't that enough reason to work on changing?
     I see great quotes all the time posted on facebook statuses or can pull them out of some of the most inspiring books that at the moment of reading them are monumental. They are the type that give you an "AH HA" moment but once they are forgotten, ways of life that you tweeked upon conviction are the norm again. So, I am going to do my best to revisit those lines periodically-I view it as a type of therapy. Two lines of therapy I credit to the mentor I was talking to yesterday. One line he posted last year sometime-"Life is 10 percent what happens and 90 percent how you respond to it." Another was just words that he happened to say during our meeting- "Is it (whatever is wrong at the moment) going to matter tomorrow?" My thinking is even if it does happen to matter tomorrow, will it matter in eternity? I must remind myself that I am living within a blink of an eye. Soon there will be no more tears, pain, and, thank God almighty, no STRESS! It's amazing how much of your inner world is apart of your outer. Memories affect the present, preconcieved thoughts affect events that havent even taken place yet, and you can get stuck in a certain mood so often that it becomes a permanent attitude ever present in your relationships. You're going to notice in these blogs, I will be writing in the flesh I struggle with but also with  a spirit that desires to follow Christ. I say that now because I am starting to sound like I want to take control of my psyche so that life goes according to how I want it, but that is not the solution. The Holy Spirit of Jesus is what I ultimately need to control my mind and heart...I may have found some ways of personal therapy but he is my doctor.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7