Unearthing Original Answers

I instagramed (new verb) this picture a few days ago with the following caption:

Delta dirt roads make sense of my life.

I’m sure others do it too. Drive the back roads and figure out your life? I had plans to get “a lot” done over the break while I was alone in Cleveland. Well, I don’t know where the last two weeks went, but they have gone very quickly! And though my house still needs a very intense cleaning, and the to-do list looks a lot like it did two weeks prior to now, I think I have made some monumental progress in the figuring out what’s next department.

Disclaimer: I’m putting my foot down. I’m going to be a little wenchy about the following topic, because I feel like my polite nod at many people’s advice isn’t communicating what I think about my future. So here it is.

I’m going to take a little time off of school between undergrad and graduate school. I have busted it for 17 years of academia-not just got by with a C average, but killed myself to be the best. I’m a determined person, and if I want to go back to school, I will. I understand the logic behind everyone’s advice to go straight through, but I also find the wisdom in my decision to want to breathe for a second. I thought I wanted to teach for years, and merely two semesters before I graduate I found out that it was not what I wanted at all(and found the courage to admit that, by the way). I made that decision because of the very strange convention that pushes 17 year olds to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives without ever having any experience in life outside of their high school microcosm of the world they think they live in. I’m not about to do that again. I know that I want to get into the recreation/outdoor/health field, but I’m not going to invest time, energy, and a whole lot of money into something that I find interesting from a storefront window view. I have gone on a few adventurous recreation trips and stepped up my health and fitness levels as of recent, but it just isn’t quite grounds to jump head first into anything. I would love to be able to mesh my English degree with the recreation field…write for Backpacker…Rock and Ice? But what is that going to take?

Well, it’s time to find out.

I know this: our job market is sucky. And competitive. Degrees only mean so much. It’s about what you know (mostly who you know, really) and what you can do with what you know. So, while, yes, I’m in pursuit of finding a degree program that is going to offer the specific credentials I need, I’m also looking for personal connections and relevant experience during the time I take off from school. The way I look at it is I have a nice place to stay with cheap rent in a town where I have a few friends that I like and appreciate. I have a job—yeah, a waitressing job, but nonetheless a job to be thankful for when there a lot of people with superb degrees sitting on their couch and barely paying the bills with their unemployment check.

Grad school (especially outside of Mississippi) is expensive! Every time I think about looking at schools out of state, I’m overcome with fear and doubt. Do I really want to risk all that money in this kind of job economy? I mean, am I really going to see what I do turn over in any kind of way? But while I was driving into the sunset the other day, it hit me. This is it. What I’m about to embark on—just my age and situation— could be the time of my life. I’m not getting married and moving back to the town I have known for my entire life. I have a rare opportunity for a small town southern girl: go somewhere and do something different. So yeah, I’m probably going to get myself into a lot of debt, but is it worth the experience? I’m thinking so. It’s not just about a goal anymore; it’s about being happy right now, in the middle of it all.

Cheers to that, my friends.