Yesterday’s post was kind of ugly, huh? Well, life has been pretty ugly the past few days. And I’m exhausted, because being a tough girl through all this is quite frankly a challenge. Who am I kidding, guys…my life just changed. A lot. Can I tell you how much I don’t want to be writing about getting through these life alterations right now. I want to be writing about how things are all figured out…how the next step in life is “insert something awesome and exciting here”.
But the truth is I’m a late bloomer, and I’m currently learning a lesson I should have learned years ago. Why years ago? Because that was the first time I heard God tell me he had more for me than what I was caught up in. As I hinted at yesterday, I found out some painful things I was unaware of about the situation I was in, and as much as it hurts like nothing has ever before, it is so, so good. When a child touches a stove and gets burnt, they tend to not do it again. I feel like it’s one of those things.
My head is most definitely spinning from the thunderstorm that rolled through, but the clouds are definitely parting. For the first time, things are becoming very clear. And that’s exciting because I know that the first thing I need in making a decision for the “what now?” is a clear head.
Well known verse coming at you:
Holy wow, I didn’t expect to apply this way overly used verse turned cliche to my own life, but now I see why it’s so over used. God reveals things to you when you don’t get them on your own…and usually that unveiling hurts like the dickens. But I’m glad I know the truth about the situation I was in, because as soon as the initial shock of the pain was over, I felt free. I know that sounds all whimsical, but really, I knew I could walk away from that situation without looking back because of the pain I had just endured. And that pain, in its essence, was truth.
I wrote this in my prayer journal a few weeks ago: What can I do to help your healing?
I picked up my Bible and automatically received an answer: Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37: 5-6
This is key. This is what I have to go back to every single day. And my confession is that I have had days where I haven’t—yesterday for instance when I decided to let anger drive every breath I took. And yes, I’m still mad, and rightfully so (you would agree if you knew why, trust me), but not to the point that I can’t function, just to the point that I have reason and fuel to move on.
Delight. Commit. Trust.
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