Dear goodness. Just run.
I have never been the best athlete, but I have always been somewhat active throughout my life. I can’t tell you how much a good dose of “pissed off” will do for a will to work out, though. I think the past few months, I have literally taken all my hurt and anger and just funneled it down my spine and to my feet. I will even confess that at times I have purposely exposed myself to things that anger or hurt me so that I can get a kick-a** work-out out of it. I’m sure that sounds unhealthy, but it is, in fact a pretty good system. If I’m not exposed to the truth, yes, the painful truth, then it is easy to make things up in my head. Don’t we all want to see our situations in life a certain way, and isn’t it common that we play mind games with ourselves to achieve those perceptions? I’m not setting myself up for that. I’m going to accept what my life is, what has happened, and I’m going to run with it (yes, of course, pun intended). I’m going to be in awesome shape and that is something that no one can take from me or ruin for me. It’s all my own. The only one that can let me down is myself.
And that’s not going to happened. The only promises I believe anymore are the ones I make to myself. I got some pretty grand things in store for myself, loves, and they are even more than looking good this summer. Selfish? Nah. Love yourself, too. It’s healthy.
FYI, This is my anthem, lately.
And don’t believe that I am living some cold hearted life, fueled by anger. All that just landed me in happiness. Happiness hit her like a train on a track…hurt like a bullet in the back. There are things that I want that I don’t currently have. There are things in my life that I don’t think are right and that I’m coping with; but I’m smiling, and it’s real. It’s hard to understand. You just have to view it all in light of irony; my little stint of “hard times” is the very thing that is making my “true” happiness possible. I would have gone through my whole life believing that a forced smile was the best I could do for myself. Lame.
P.S. If you’re not pissed, I’m sure there is still plenty of fuel in your life that will help you hit the pavement. Run like a happy fool…to angry chick music. Here is some inspiration, dears.
3 comments:
The last day of passion Louie said this "Brokenness is the bow to which Jesus launches the arrows of healing." He heals you so that you KNOW what healing feels like. So that you can then go and proclaim his healing to the world! While you say that you're only going to believe the promises you make to yourself, don't forget that promises that the Lord has spoken over you. In your brokenness let the Lord teach you what healing is. Because there is a world out there that NEEDS us to tell them about healing!! Love you, girl!
I tried to like Nicole's comment, and then I realized that this isn't facebook. Ha Of course you intended that pun! ;) I love you, dear, and I cannot wait to see your face!
I like both of those comments ^ :)
you're so macho (in a dainty, pretty, girly kind of way, of course :)
but seriously, I need you to kick me in the tail and make me work out with you - I now have an immense source of motivation :) but still that same disdain for painful activity :/
I loooove you!! Don't be TOO physically in shape and awesome and such, cause then I'll get a complex ... kay?
:P
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